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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Telemarketers: You gotta Hate 'em

Title is pretty self explanitory: a telemarketer phoned our house today around 4:30 and this is somehow how it went...

-Picks up phone-

Me: Hello?

Telemarketer: Good afternoon, Im conducting a survey for you and your neighbors regarding shit around the community, [He rambled on awhile, I cant remember exactly..] Do you have a few minutes?

Me: Yeah, Sure [Youve only interupted me watching THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW the most greatest tv show ever!!! of course I have a few minutes to waste my time on someone I dont know and something I dont care about and not get payed for it..]

Telemarketer: And are you over the age of 18?

Me: Yeah, of course! Im 86.
Would you just hang on one minute?

Telemarketer: Yup.

Me: -Hangs up-

REJECTED!!!!! you can imagine how scared I was when the caller ID showed the exact same number again around 6 and my mom goes to answer it!! Telemarketers NEVER phone back on the same day from the exact same phone!!!!!!! especially after they get sassed!!!
but it turns out hes just stupid and thought he had a chance of making us do his stupid survey.....

Other Telemarketer Disses:
1. when they ask you for a moment of your time so that they can ask you a few questions or try to sell you a cactus, then you simply say in an Iraqie accent: "one moment please, my goat just died yesterday I need to get him out of the microwave, he must be done crimating by now" Its totally original and completely hilarious!!
2. I bet most of you get asked if your parents are in so that they can answer a few questions [personally, now I just say that Im like 96 now] but if your unsure that it could be like someone from your moms office or whatever, then you could always do what I did for years: say "yes my moms home, hold on one minute and I will go get her" then hang up. Its simple and easy and totally carries the same impact of rejection for the telemarketers xD
3.Then there is what Nikki and Lanny always do: sing to them. "Screwy louie" is their telemarketer song, I think, but the possabilities are really endless!! you could sing like the backstreet boys if you wanted too!! Totally funny, but you never really get a responce from them with this one, cus your singing and not listening, but you can just imagine their reaction!! xD

Yeah, so what if Im mean, this might seem totally cruel in your opinion, but I think its totally fair cus they are interupting my life and wasting my time with usless stuff so I should get to waste their time too!! and may as well get a laugh out of it while Im at it, right?

Do you do anything different to annoy or weird out those annoying telemarketers?
any brand new ideas to try out?
Leave a comment!!


kitty<3 said...

Wow, I got a lot of those calling my cellphone when school first started. I was too polite to be mean to them though... and plus, if I said those things on the bus it might be odddd. XD
I even got one from someone who spoke mandarin. she just started blabbing it the moment I picked up! I should have pretended I couldn't understand her and say "gunghayfatchoy" in the weirdest accent I can manage. OH! YOU KNOW WHAT? next time I get a call like that, I am going to break into and English accent and start calling out harry potter characters! XD and then maybe sing a couple verses from "I am Cow" :D

K. Waffle said...

Haha, I usually just ignore them. This one 800 number has been stalker-ly phoning my house for awhile, though...

kitty<3 said...

Kayla, I think you should tell them ALL about yourself! You two could have somethings in common! Like how you're 192837 years old, married your dog Max, eat post-it notes for lunch, enjoy preaching cows, went to Clown College, dyed your hair magenta, repainted your Beetle Lime Green... ah... I can just see the friendship between you two blooming like that cherry blossom tree you currently have for a display picture!
PS: Don't forget to scream out the lyrics for the newest Lady Gaga song. I hear it calms the nerves.

K. Waffle said...

Ew, I did NOT marry my little brother!

kitty<3 said...

Your dog Max is your little brother?

K. Waffle said...

Well, for one thing, hes not my husband xD