Have you got thinning hair?
Do you want to have it full and thick again?
CALL HairHelp at: 1800-GOODHAIR-FAST TODAY!
IT'S ONLY 7 MILLION DOLLARS PER DAY!
You'll never look back!
We will help you grow your hair back by filling your shower head with green paint and delivering your neighbor's garbage straight to your door! After a week of that, we'll offer you special therapy to make your hair stop thinning and grow back thick and lush. You'll relax in a mud bath full of worms while we dump spaghetti over your head!
Side effects include: more thinning, numbing, headaches, digestion problems, burns, itching, rashes, welts, the plague, AIDS, cold sores, sore throat, vomiting, coughing, sneezing, bloody gums, black teeth, frost bites, memory loss, cramping, paralyzing the lower half of your body, bloated lips, pink eye, drug addiction, brain damage, speech failure, blindness, deafness, chicken pox, Hepatitis A and B, stomach pain, heart attacks, agitation, irritation, kidney failure, snakephobia, the flu, drooling, near sightness, far sightness, laziness, turning all your remaining hair white, revolting smell, madness, cancer... (etc)...
No suing or refunds allowed.
CALL HairHelp TODAY!